The Quest: Seeking Allah, Meeting Jesus

                                                             

It was 9 a.m. Twenty-one-year-old Ruth entered Bethel City Church, all prepared to worship God and fulfil her task of ushering. The church was situated in Sikanderpur, Gurgaon- a beautiful millennium city next to New Delhi, the capital of India- at about 40 kilometres away from her university campus. Its shopping malls, metro stations, call centers and crowd depicted the lifestyle and ambitions of the people residing it.

Ruth greeted her two Pastors, John and Kay, and her friends. She was tall, well endowed, and her Indo- African ethnicity gave her a dusky complexion. Those who knew her said she was charismatic.She had been serving in the church for one year now and her face reflected the feelings of peace and happiness she experienced there, with an honesty that everyone found amazing.

That Sunday, she was dressed in a black gown, with her shoulder length, straight black hair falling perfectly. Her simple silver necklace and black peep-toed stilettos complemented her understated look and minimal make-up. She soon got busy in arranging the connection cards and welcome gifts for the newcomers when she heard the sound of drums. The choir had already started their rehearsal. She turned back to look at the worship team, some members of which were her school mates.As they sang praises of God, Ruth stood still. The meaningful words and melodious voices touched her soul and that gave her a unique feeling- a feeling difficult to describe.

Once done with arranging the gifts, connection cards and ensuring everything was in perfect order, she took a deep breath and went to stand by the entrance door. At 10.30, the service started. As regular attenders arrived, Ruth greeted them with a warm smile. " Welcome. It's good to see you, please have a seat!" she exclaimed. Soon, the hall was packed with people from all walks of life and various cultural and social backgrounds. It was mesmerizing to see the cultural diversity and vibrancy at Bethel City Church, as barriers of language, race, colour and culture were broken and all were voluntarily united with the sole aim of rejoicing and worshiping God. While some of the people were from different cities across India, others, mostly students, came from countries such as Congo, Nigeria, Rwanda, and Mauritius

Ruth was one of them. She had been born and brought up in the small paradise island of Mauritius, well known for its beauty and tranquility. She was the younger of two children in the family and had always taken for granted all the hard work her parents did to give her whatever she asked for. She was not fully at fault. After all, she grew up as Daddy's little princess: a girl who led a luxurious and comfortable life, unaware of the struggles and hard work her parents went through just to keep a smile on her face.Starting her morning with bed tea, having her father wait for hours to pick her up from private coaching and drop her home safely and having her mother work in the kitchen an entire day just to cook her favorite meal were but normal to her. She had never tried to look beyond her own needs and wants to realize that she was truly blessed to have such parents : parents who would sacrifice their own needs and do anything just to make her happy. She never really grew up and displayed responsible behavior until one day, she found herself in India- a different world where people spoke a different language, ate 'chapati' and 'daal' which she was never used to, possessed a different mindset and had a completely different lifestyle. It was but difficult for her to become habitual to the drastic change. Her nerves would get frayed at one point. Hearing people constantly honking, seeing them drive like they were suicidal and being in a place she did not belong to would instill in her a strange fear: a fear of regretting her decision of coming to India, of being shattered and not surviving the culture shock.. However, her determination of fulfilling her goal was stronger. She got hold of herself and decided not to give up. She had managed to persuade her parents to send her to India to pursue a degree in Journalism. She now did not want to disappoint them. She went through sleepless nights and health problems trying to adapt to the changes. Many a times, she locked herself in the room and cried. Amidst all the burdens that fell on her shoulders, what gave her peace and happiness was her strong faith in God and going to the church.

The first time she stepped in Bethel City Church, she felt something she had never felt before. She could connect with God and have an intimate conversation with Him. She opened her heart and talked to God, casting all her burdens on Him and feeling His presence. She met the pastors for the first time, who welcomed her with open arms and made her feel comfortable.

Bethel City Church had 9 newcomers that day. Ruth welcomed them wholeheartedly with gifts, gave out the connection cards and collected offerings for the church. She then took her Bible, notebook and grabbed a seat in the last row, As Pastor John started sharing the word of God, she listened with every ounce of attention and devotion.

"God wants us to have a personal relationship with Him. He looks at our heart and focuses on what is on the inside. Jesus shed His blood for us. Therefore, we should aim at being better people each and every day and believe in the power of prayers, love and kindness," he advised, and twenty one year old Ruth felt at peace. The words engendered in her a sense of inspiration and motivation-

inspiration from a man she knew died for her on the cross 2000 years ago so the sins of mankind would be forgiven, and motivation to lead life the right way and make the world a better place.

After a two-hour-long service, everyone gathered outside the prayer room for refreshments. Ruth escorted the regular attenders till the reception and interacted with the newcomers. She was indulged in a casual conversation with one of her school mates when she suddenly heard her name.

“Hey, Ruth! How are you today?”

As she turned around, her cheeks flushed. It was her friend Amit. Amit was a member of the church and led the worship team.

"Ooh I am fine Amit. How about you?" She answered.

" Well I am doing great, thank you! Will you head back to school now?" asked Amit.

" Ooh yeah, I soon will," she replied.

Cheerful and friendly by nature, she always enjoyed every single moment of being in the church, praying and talking to her friends. To her, the church was a second home and its people, an extended family.

After the service, Ruth stayed back to assist in cleaning the prayer room and packing up the remaining connection cards. She then headed back to her residence. She resided her school's hostel, which was situated along the main road in Sohna. The area was rural and remote, with a few small, one storied brick houses and local shops, one small bus stand and two banks surrounding her school campus. The narrow two-lane deserted road ran through the village and connected it to the main city of Gurgaon. It took her four hours every Sunday to commute to the city and back, and she always lamented over the fact that it was almost impossible for her to do so, but deep down her heart, she loved God and she was willing to do all she could to serve in the church without fail. Praying, to her, was not a duty or obligation, but rather a joy and priority.

Ruth's life in India could be described in few sentences: She worked hard in school and prayed harder in church. She was introverted and always kept her circle small. She interacted with very few students in school and always performed her best, trying to fulfill the vision and dream she had for her future. She never missed church on Sundays and devoted sufficient time to pray every single morning.She would talk to her family every evening from seven o'clock and always updated them over what was happening in her life. She often went for lunch with her few friends during the week ends and shared a strong bond with them.

Four years went by, and the young woman completed her studies. After her convocation ceremony, she attended her farewell party, thanked her teachers and friends for their support, visited the church for the last time, shed tears as her two pastors prayed for her and wished her goodbye, and headed back home with a degree in her hand and wonderful memories in her heart. It triggered in her a mixed feeling of pride, joy and sadness. She felt a sense of pride as she stood against all odds, persevered and achieved her goal, she rejoiced over going back to where she belonged and being Daddy's princess again, and experienced sadness over leaving the family she was part of in India; the people whom she would maybe never meet again.

The flight MK 744 landed in Mauritius. Ruth experienced an overwhelming feeling. " Welcome to Mauritius. The local time is 14:00 hours and the local temperature is 11 degrees Celsius. We hope you had a pleasant flight and we look forward to having you on board Air Mauritius again soon," the pilot announced. Ruth was delighted about being back home, to the heaven she grew up in, and excited about reuniting with her family. She could already imagine what it would feel to hug her parents, her sister and feel safe again, show them her certificate and be the reason for their smile, and giving all her relatives gifts from India.

After deboarding the plane, she went by the immigration counter. The officer didn’t take long to stamp her passport.

" Student?" He asked smilingly.

"Yeah, I just completed my studies," Ruth answered.

"Welcome back!", he said.

She rushed to the baggage counter, collected her two suitcases and proceeded towards the exit gate. As she stepped outside, her parents came towards her. They didn’t utter a single word, but the sparkle in their eyes reflected the immense love they had for their daughter. She hugged them and shed a few tears of happiness.

" No going back again, now. We've missed you," said her father.

"I missed you too, Dad. Love you," she answered.

After a one hour drive from the airport, they reached St Julien street in the small town of Central Flacq, where Ruth grew up. She got down and headed straight to her bedroom. She was amazed to see that her mother had maintained her room the same way she had left it four years ago. The funky purple and pink walls still had designs of stars and butterflies, her bed was perfectly made, with her white teddy bear lying in the corner. It all reminded her of the wonderful moments she had in her home. She took a quick shower, ate her favorite spaghetti with meat balls which her mother lovingly prepared, spent some time talking to her family members and went to rest, as she was jet lagged.

Time passed, and Ruth enjoyed being at home, helping her mother serve the food, sitting by the table in the dining room, having dinner and interacting with her family. Meanwhile, her phone was flooded with text messages from her friends in India, all wanting to know whether she had reached safely and how she was doing. She then got busy replying to all of them. Her parents asked about her friends abroad. Ruth looked at them, as her expression changed and her smile faded.

" Well, they are family, Dad. I miss them a lot. Especially the ch...the school!" She hesitantly answered.

She wanted to open up to her father whom she loved dearly and say that she missed the church, but something stopped her right there. It wasn’t the right thing to do, she said to herself.

She then continued 

"Well, it was just an enriching experience. And now, I am a graduate!"

Her mother proudly took a look at her certificate, for the tenth time.

" Degree in Journalism awarded to Miss Ayesha Kareem," it read.

"Allah has been kind to you, Ayesha. We should all thank Him for His grace," said her mother.

Ruth stopped and thought for a while. A feeling of anxiety engulfed her and that made her uncomfortable. At first, she was scared. The next moment, she took a deep breath and let it all out. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat her parents down, mustered all the courage she could and uttered:

" Mom and Dad, I am glad I could make you proud. But I need to tell you something...something that I know will break your heart, but it is important"

" What is it, dear?" her mother asked curiously.

"I...I converted to Christ..Christianity in India," Ruth replied, with a trembling voice.

Those words sent shivers down her spine, as they did for her parents. They stood still in utter astonishment, finding it almost impossible to believe what they had just heard from their young beloved daughter.

As she confessed, her mother sat down with a heavy heart and started weeping.

"Oh Allah, what has she done! I will burn in the hell fire for your sins, How could you, Ayesha?"

Before she could explain the reason for her actions, her father approached her angrily. Purple with rage, he shouted:

" How could you...insult my name and religion? Did you not think about us even once? Where did we go wrong for you to let us down?"

Ruth felt heartbroken and the burden of guilt was too heavy for her to bear. She was to blame for not being the ideal daughter. She dared to disrespect her parents and her religion.

" We gave you everything. All we wanted from you was to make us proud, and you could not," said her father.

Those words hurt her, not because they were harsh, but because they came from the people she owed her life to and those she loved the most. She was somewhat angry at herself for disappointing her parents by taking such an extreme step, but she also knew that she had to be bold enough to stay true to herself. As she sat down and narrated her experience to her parents, she spoke about her childhood.

Ruth was born to Muslim parents Zafar and Amina Kareem. She was a much adored baby as she was born one day after her mother's birthday. She was named Ayesha and grew up adhering to the Islamic principles and way of life. Zafar was a pharmacist while Amina worked as an executive officer in the finance department. Ayesha always celebrated her birthday with her mother and both of them shared a strong bond. She was also fond of language and poetry.

As a child, Ayesha was always told to wear an Abaya, a scarf and pray five times a day. She followed all the rules for the Muslim prayer, and Amina always guided her. Yet, one question always bothered little Ayesha. If God was everywhere, why did she have to cover herself entirely, sit in one corner of the room and pray for God to answer her prayers? Could she not talk to Him like a friend? If she was created in God's image and God was love, why was she always made to pray out of fear?

'Go pray, otherwise Allah will punish you and you will burn in hell when you die', she was always told.

With time, she started feeling suffocated and confined by the rules and restrictions laid out by man. All she ever wanted was to be able to know who God was, connect with Him personally and feel His presence. Ayesha prayed five times a day, but to who, she had no idea. She bowed down to Allah, out of fear of society and people, and never out of love for the Almighty. Never did she know who God was, and all her questions remained unanswered. She would try questioning her beliefs in search for the truth, but her parents would always disregard it by saying she was committing a sin and should not question.

Ayesha felt that God was One, simple and good, others told her that God was One who punished severely. She strongly believed that God loved His people and wanted them to worship Him freely, others told her that God would not listen to her unless she was properly covered in a religious attire.

Ayesha felt that men and women were created equal by God, others practised Islamic laws in such a way that she was compelled to see women having no rights. She could not understand which practices and beliefs were right, until she stepped in the church in India.

Out of curiosity, one fine day, twenty one year old Ayesha decided to just go get a glimpse of what a church was like when her school mate invited her to the Sunday service. What she pictured in her mind on hearing the word ‘church’ was a building used specifically for worship, the interiors of which were filled with ancient traditional wall designs, wooden benches, a priest preaching in the front, choir members singing and a huge cross having the statue of Christ crucified.

Bethel City Church, in contrast to being the ideal, traditional Orthodox Church, focused more on the spiritual and personal relationship an individual needed to have with God. Unlike other institutions, Bethel City Church was merely a conference room in the basement of a Hotel Aadhar which was located in the Sikanderpur area of Gurgaon in India. It accommodated around 80 people every Sunday for the English service as from 10.30 in the morning. As she walked in, she was amazed to see the tranquil and joyful atmosphere that prevailed all over. Seeing young men and women from different cultures and countries dancing and worshiping God freely and voluntarily brought a smile on her face. She then understood an important lesson in her life: The church was not a building, but the people that formed it. She also realized that, in contrast to what she had always learnt at home, a true act of worship was that which set her free instead of confining or burdening her with all the restrictions and rules about who God was and was not. She now understood the difference between God loving and God fearing people, and saw Christianity as a way of life which gave her peace and happiness, vis a vis a religion which made her feel suffocated and took away her right to even question.

Ayesha received a warm welcome at the church by its members and two Pastors. Upon interacting with them, she figured out that God only cared about her heart and the love she had for Him, and not the religion she belonged to, as religion was a set of rules made by man. She also read the bible for the first time, in which she came to know about a sinless man- an epitome of love and faith, who died a brutal death on the cross, suffered for his people and defied all odds by rising from the dead so the future generations could be free to worship God and attain forgiveness. She learned about Christ Jesus.

Soon, she started feeling the presence of God in her life and her attitude changed. She felt free and joyful, she was at peace with herself. She made sure to attend the church every Sunday with a few friends and worship God-the God she encountered personally after a long wait of twenty one years. She went from God fearing to God loving, and nobody had to ask her to pray now. She loved praying. The quest of her thirsty soul had finally come to an end.

Ayesha's life had a vacuum, which was only filled by the true connection with Jesus. She made friends at the church who guided her and talked to her about God's words. Eventually, her desire to honor the Almighty grew stronger and she surrendered her life to God. She had a strong bonding with the pastors, John and Kay, whose practical preaching and loving nature she always admired. She looked up to them for inspiration and advice and they became her family. As she grew stronger in her faith, she took water baptism, a significant ritual performed in Christianity. She identified with the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus and was given a new, meaningful life. Her admiration and love for God was reflected in her faithfulness and steadfastness to prayers and the church, and thus she was given a name that symbolized those qualities- she was named Ruth. She then started serving in the same church as a member.

Her journey from God-fearing Ayesha to God-loving Ruth, from a simple visitor to a member of God's house was an incredible one- one which taught her the most important lessons in life. India, which seemed tough and terrible to her in the beginning, became special and lovable, because of the peace she felt with God in her life and the family she became part of.

" So you have decided to follow Jesus?"asked her mother.

" Yes. I didn’t want to hurt you. But I had to tell you the truth. At least I know I did my duty," replied Ruth.

" No matter how hurt we may be, you are still our daughter. I will not ask you to leave the house, but I do not think we will ever able to ever forgive you for what you did," said Mr Zafar.

Ruth realized that as a daughter, probably she failed. She did certainly get a degree and make her parents proud, but she lost their trust and love forever. She cried her heart out to God, asking for the strength to face the challenges that lied ahead. She hoped that someday, her parents would understand her. She did not want to ever let her family down or stand against them, but she also knew that she had to be bold enough to believe in her truth and bear the consequences. To the world, she was a shame to daughterhood, but to those who truly knew her, she was just a woman who was willing to pay the price for the love of Jesus.